Saturday, May 3, 2014

back to the grind

This past Thursday was my first day back at work. Okay, “back” is a relative term. I do get to work from the comfort of my home for a few weeks as I continue to supervise Calder’s care, an opportunity I consider a great luxury and such a blessing! I am thankful for the gracious and understanding supervisors I’ve had throughout this whole beautiful mess.

And yes, it’s still a little bit of a mess for my very Type A personality. On our new regimen, Calder has been anything but predictable. Ginny gave rather nebulous instructions about how to decide when to tube him every day, so at each feed a decision needs to made. It’s not that our nurse cannot handle making this decision herself, not necessarily, but for what I consider such a crucial process, I feel it’s my mommy duty to help guide these decisions, to at least set some parameters, and that means that through the early stages, I want to be consulted. I know that for most kids, eating comes naturally. And while Calder clearly has the drive to be gobbling things up, at least sometimes, it’s not quite that easy, and there’s a little bit more riding on his ability to do so. It’s not just like hey, my kid might become dependent on this paci, I don’t want him to be nine years old and still sucking on it. For me, it’s more like hey, I don’t want my kid dependent on this G-tube when he’s in elementary school. Heck, daycare, for that matter. I could be a little overly anxious about this, I admit it. But let’s just say that for now, I take some comfort in the fact that while I’m upstairs teleworking, our nurse can easily pop upstairs to check with me my opinion on when to tube him, and when not to.

wait, whaaaat?
okay, i see your point.

only missing the mint julep
We tried more solids Wednesday night, without a highchair still, and my mom was less than convinced with this new approach. Can’t say I blame her – there was unquestionably more apple on the table and on his clothes than in his mouth – but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. I’ll try it all!


  1. I can only imagine how hard it is to figure out all of this stuff...Calder definitely didn't come with a handbook (wouldn't that be awesome?). I bet overall you are doing an amazing job and Calder seems to be growing like a log. (People used to say that to me when I was logs grow?!) Anyway, I find the serenity prayer is very helpful in most situations. And what baby didn't end up with food all over them? There's a reason bath time followed dinner time for most people :) Good luck on your food escapades! :)

    1. lol, people said that to me or around me, too, when I was little -- I have no clue what the origins of that saying are. pretty sure logs don't grow much except mold. my next google search, perhaps. we'll try the serenity prayer ... tonight! <3

    2. I guess maybe it started with "growing like a tree" and growing like a log is funnier? I'll never get old people humor. (Hey wait, are we those old people yet?!) Oy.