Keeping Up.

Calder was still doing okay as of tonight. He went up to 5 ccs in his feeds. His oxygen was down (we'll see if that lasts...) His triglyceride reading was high, which means he has too much fat in his blood, so they stopped his lipids. He is still off the light and now weighs 780 grams.

People often ask us how we’re doing, too. When Calder has good days, we have great days! Getting news from the doctors and nurses that he has improved in one way or another -- though they never cease to caveat it -- is always uplifting.

More generally, I’m exhausted, always. It’s a struggle to get enough sleep. All I do between visiting the hospital to see Calder is pump, eat and sleep, and it’s amazing how those activities take it out of you and seem to leave no time for anything else. Both my work and personal email have many unanswered emails asking after us and Calder, which is unusual for me; we sometimes forget to prepare meals or even pick up groceries; I barely feel I have time or energy in the day to run down the block to CVS.

Kraemer is back to work, and I start back tomorrow. I’m trying to find the right balance 

between saving up all the time I can for Calder when he finally comes home and keeping myself healthy so that I can be useful to him now.